Cougar
by HarvestBeauty
Summary: What happened when Lana helped Larry pack in A Camping We Will Go?


_A/N: I wrote this for two reasons...one: I loved how flustered Larry had gotten when Janet responded strongly to his come-ons in Janet Wigs Out, and I wanted a chance to show that side to Larry once again...a side that gets freaked out when women come on too strong._

_And two: some people see the line "I never should have let her sit on my suitcase" in A Camping We Will Go as a sexual euphemism. I did too at first...after all, Larry and Lana are two horny individuals, she likes younger men and he's down for anything most of the time...it's like a match made in Heaven, right? But then I started thinking of it more literally and it just seemed adorable to me...picturing her literally sitting on his suitcase as he's trying to pack. I don't know. I'm weird. XD_

_I'm going NUTS with story ideas. I've got them coming out of my ears. I'm going to try to force myself to slow down so I can direct most of my attention towards the Larry/Terri stories I have planned for this year. Sorry about all of the excessive posting. I want to thank all of you for welcoming me into the world of Three's Company fanfiction and just allowing me to express myself. I've forgotten how much fun it is to write. I'm truly having the time of my life! :D_

"I just don't know why Jackie-poo doesn't like me." Lana's already naturally pouty mouth formed into an even more exaggerated pout as she sighed dramatically. "Maybe he thinks I'm too old or that I'm not sexy enough or-"

"Are you kidding me?" Larry looked up from his current task of packing, casting Lana a disbelieving look. "You're crazy sexy."

"You think so?" Lana perked up at this.

"Sure, I do." Larry smiled at her. He then crossed the bedroom and stood in front of his closet as he tried to choose which shirts to bring with him for his weekend trip up into the mountains. After some careful consideration, he chose four and made his way back over to the bed where his suitcase sat. Lana watched him carefully from where she was sitting on his bed, right next to his suitcase.

"You know what I think it is? I think it's that you come on a little too strongly sometimes. You know what I mean?" Larry began folding a shirt carefully before placing it in his suitcase neatly. He repeated the action with the other shirts, working quickly and diligently in order to get ready to leave. He only had half and hour to get ready...no time to waste.

"No, I don't think I do. I thought Jack would be flattered. I mean, I know _I'd _be flattered if I was being hit on..." Lana frowned a little bit as she thought about it.

"Yeah, but it's different for women than it is for men. Most men like to be the ones to hit on women and most women like to be hit on by men. If you turn the old formula on its head, it can kind of scare guys off. We like to be the ones to chase." Larry grinned, recalling his many, many 'chases' from years past. It was a game that he really enjoyed playing. "I can almost guarantee you, if you just play it cool and play hard to get, Jack will be yours within a week."

Larry walked over to his dresser and opened up a drawer, looking for some socks and a few lucky pairs of underwear to pack.

"But I am a grown woman. I have had multiple husbands in my life. I don't want to pretend to be a shy, little girl!" Lana huffed, tossing her dark brown locks and crossing her arms over her chest. "I couldn't even if I wanted to!"

"I understand, Lana. I'm just trying to help." Larry chuckled, snatching up the desired articles of clothing from the drawer. He slammed the drawer shut and turned around to face his bed again. His heart skipped a beat when he noticed that Lana had gotten up from her spot on his bed and had perched herself directly on top of his suitcase, crossing her legs neatly. She regarded him with a flirtatious smile on her face.

Larry knew that look. He practically _invented _that look. He swallowed nervously and walked slowly over to his bed. He still had some packing to do.

"You're, uh, you're sitting on my s-suitcase..." Larry stammered awkwardly.

"Am I?" Lana teased. She slid off of his suitcase and stood up, sauntering over towards Larry. Larry gasped, dropping the underwear and socks on the floor. He began walking backwards and Lana followed, backing him right up against his dresser. She was relentless.

"Larry, what do you say you and I-" Lana started, but Larry didn't let her finish her sentence.

"Hey, wait a minute...don't you have a thing for Jack?" Larry asked her, shocked.

"Well, of course I do. But at the rate things are going, I'm going to be 80 by the time he comes to his senses." Lana smirked. "And you're pretty cute, too. So what do you say?"

"I...you know, normally I'd say yes, but I have to go up to the mountains in half an hour to meet, ummm..." Larry snapped his fingers as he tried to remember the name of the girl in question, but he could not recall. "...what's-her-name."

"Well, how about we make a deal. If things don't work out between Jackie-Boy and I and you and that girl, then maybe you can give me a call." Lana batted her eyelashes at him, invading his personal space even more.

Larry's eyes widened and he felt a blush creeping up his neck. He was simultaneously turned on and terrified.

"I..." Larry struggled to find his voice. "I think I'd like that, it's just..."

Larry couldn't take it anymore. It was just too damned awkward. He covered his face with his hands and burst into laughter. Lana was momentarily taken aback at Larry losing his cool and she didn't know whether to be insulted or not.

"Are you laughing at me?" Lana wanted to know, her hands on her hips.

"No, no!" Larry replied as best he could between gasps and goofy, high pitched giggles. He shook his head and tried to catch his breath. "It's just that you're kind of making me nervous and when I get nervous I tend to laugh-"

Larry could say no more as he dissolved into more laughter, covering his face once again and hunching over from the force of it all. He was laughing so hard that he was pretty sure he had tears in his eyes. So much for being smooth and sexy. How embarrassing. A slow and affectionate smile came to Lana's face, replacing the more lustful look she had earlier...it was an adorable and very unexpected reaction and it threw her for a loop at first. She quickly recovered, however, and resumed her sensual persona.

"Do you know what I love about younger men?" Lana practically purred.

"No..." Larry wheezed, his face bright red from his little laughing fit. "What?"

"I just _love _the way they squirm when I come after them!" Lana's eyes lit up. Truth to be told, she loved how rattled she could make Jack, and now Larry...it made her feel strangely powerful. With a self satisfied smirk, she mercifully turned and flounced out of Larry's bedroom. Moments later, Larry heard the sound of his apartment door opening and closing as she left his place. Larry was left alone in his bedroom now. He took a few deep breaths in an attempt to calm down and he was still leaning heavily against his dresser for support in case his legs gave out on him. He really hoped that the "squirming" comment wasn't about him...after all, he didn't squirm, did he? He may have lost his composure entirely...but he most certainly did _not _squirm.

"Holy shit..." Larry finally breathed.

He wondered if he would have time for a cold shower before he left for the mountains.

THE END


End file.
